Pastor Mark

New Collier clan member!

My brother Roger (@buck_rogers) and his wife Stacey brought home a new baby boy via adoption this week! 

Be sure to follow Roger on Twitter if you would like to keep up with what's going on. I am sure he will tweet and twitpic a bunch. 

Here's a couple of pics from yesterday:

5 Lies That Kill Relationships | "All We Need Is Love"

@MikeGoolsbay was feeling a little under the weather last night so he asked me if I would deliver the message on Wednesday night - of course I said, "YES!" (Thanks, Pastor Mike, for the opportunity)

I continued the series he began last Wednesday by looking into the relationship lie that says, "All We Need Is Love". 

Here are my notes if you missed it:

Did you know that there are things you can believe that can hurt you if you’re wrong?
Did you know that believing something strongly enough doesn’t help if that thing you’re believing in isn’t true?

What we believe affects what we DO.
What you believe about relationships will affect what you DO in them.
And what we DO can kill our relationships.

THE LIE: “ALL WE NEED IS LOVE.”

How often have we all been guilty of saying “I love you so much” and then following that statement up with actions that are not good for the other person?

What we mean when we say stuff like that is that we FEEL SOMETHING VERY STRONGLY!
We are VERY EMOTIONALLY MOVED!

But the problem is that when we believe that all we need is a deep feeling about something, we ignore the truth…

 THE TRUTH IS: “LOVE MUST BE FOLLOWED BY ACTIONS.”

Without actions, love has no power. True love is always expressed through behavior.

There’s a big difference between talking love and living love.

Beliefs or feelings that are not acted on are worthless.

For all practical sakes, they don’t exist.

James 2:14-18 | 1 John 3:18 | John 15:13

“Action without love is meaningless, and love without action is irrelevant.”

 REAL LOVE PRODUCES ACTIONS THAT ARE FUELED BY THE TRUTH.

Oftentimes the better question is not: “How do I feel?” but “What do I KNOW?”
What you FEEL can lead you astray – especially if you ACT on what you FEEL.

The Bible says that the heart is deceptively wicked and deceitful.
The Apostle Paul said that his conscience can mislead him.

So when it comes to matters of love, there’s no question that the heart and feelings are involved, but love must be expressed through actions – and those actions must be based on the truth.

Where do you find the Truth?

Prayer. God’s Word. Godly counsel.

The truth is...

...You don’t have to stay at work late every night.
...If you say those words, they will be hurt.

...It speaks his love language when dinner is ready when he gets home.

...If the two of you cross that line physically, it’s wrong.

...If you repeat that story, their reputation will be damaged.

...You don’t have to respond to what they said.

...There’s something bigger at stake here than your pride.

...If you don’t talk about that issue between the two of you, it won’t get better.

...You owe them an apology.

...That nothing is impossible for my God.

...That what you do can affect someone else’s view of God.

...You know what God wants you to do.

Real love produces actions that are fueled by the truth.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Patience is a decision. It’s an action.
Kindness is a decision. It’s an action.
Keeping no record of wrongs is a decision. It’s an action.

Trust a decision. It produces an action.

“All we need is love” is actually true – IF it is the Biblical kind of love that is expressed through our actions.

 Acts 7:54-60

There are two things we can learn about love from this story:

1. Listening can be an expression of love. Listening can be love in action.
Will you commit to listening to the truth if a friend or a loved one brings it to you?
Or will you be like these “religious” people and attack the messenger and miss what God is trying to say to you?

2.Love is always aware of where the hearts of others are. Loving actions will protect their hearts. Even in DEATH, Steven was aware of what was best for them – and he asked God for what was best for them. His ACTIONS were guided by what he knew about where their hearts were.

As you are living in relationship with others all around you, will you commit to keep one eye on where the other person’s heart is and be sure that your ACTIONS reflect that understanding?

Because LOVE IS NOT ALL WE NEED. 

Love must be followed by actions – and those actions must be fueled by the truth.

5 Things Next-Level Leaders Always Do

Scott Williams wrote about this a few weeks ago and it's so good I just had to share it with you. If you're any kind of leader at all, this will really appeal to you. If it doesn't, well... Have a nice day!

Next-Level Leader- A leader that not only elevates their personal leadership to that Next-Level, but elevates the leadership of their team members, peers and competition to the Next-Level. 

Here are the 5 Things That Next-Level Leaders Always Do:

1. Challenge Everything-They challenge things because they are supposed to be challenged.  They not only challenge the thoughts/methods of their leaders but they challenge their own personal methodology.  They realize that their boss puts their pants on just like they do and embrace the fact that just because a person is supervising doesn’t mean they are necessarily smarter or better leaders.  Challenging things is not about being combative, but rather raising every-one’s leadership game to the Next-Level.  
2. Ask The Right Questions- They always ask the right questions… They begin sentences with “What If?, Have You Ever Thought About?, This Might Sound Crazy, but do you think we can…”  Anytime they have the opportunity to sit down with a Next-Level Leader they desire to learn from, they have a list of questions and not a list of answers.  They take their leadership game to the Next-Level by asking the right questions.
   
3. Dream- They are always dreaming and imagining.  Some of these dreams may seem to be a fairy-tale to some, but not to a Next-Level Leader.  A Next-Level Leader will schedule an appointment to dream, they go to Starbucks and Dream, they close their office door and dream, they take a vacation alone to do nothing but dream.  They take their leadership game to the Next-Level by dreaming,  encouraging those around them to dream, writing their dreams down and making those dreams a reality. 

Click HERE to read the other two... 

Finding God's will (resources)

Over the past few months God has really been talking to me about the issue of "finding His will" and any of my friends have been facing questions about this as well. 

I thought it would be cool to post a few podcasts and resources that have really spoken to me. Well, let me correct that: 1 that spoke to me and one that was me.

The first is by Andy Stanley and it's called The Best Question Ever.
This is one of the best messages I have ever heard on ANY subject and it will help you see decision-making in a whole new light. 

Just right-click on the link and download it. You will be glad you did.

The other one I have here is a message I did a few weeks ago based on an excellent book called, "10 Dumb Things Smart Christians Believe" by Larry Osborne. Here's the link for that message. I enjoyed preaching this one. 
Spiritual Urban Legends: "God Has A Blueprint For My Life"

I also wrote about God's will here and posted some notes from Andy Stanley preaching on God's will here.

Hopefully these resourses will help many of you dial in like they did me.

Using the secular to prove the sacred

Quick - who originally wrote the following statement?

"But thou art not dead: thou livest and abidest forever, 
for in thee we live and move and have our being."

If you said the Apostle Paul, you're wrong.
It was a philosopher from Crete named Epimenides writing about Zeus. He was saying that Zeus is not dead but he lives forever - and in him we live and move and have our being.

How about this one?

"...For we are his offspring."

If you said the Apostle Paul, wrong again.
It was another philosopher named Aratus - again writing about Zeus.
Here's his whole quote:

"Let us begin with Zeus, whom we mortals never leave unspoken.

For every street, every market-place is full of Zeus.

Even the sea and the harbour are full of this deity.

Everywhere everyone is indebted to Zeus.

For we are indeed his offspring..."

So what in the world is Paul doing in Acts 17 quoting these guys?

Not only are they NOT talking about the one true God - they are actually praising another god. 

And yet Paul freely used these popular words from culture to promote his God - and he didn't even change the words. He simply quoted someone else's writing about another god and used them to call attention to his God.

And he didn't even take the time to explain or justify himself. He apparently didn't think it was necessary.

Remarkable.

So why do did Paul think it was ok to use something so "secular" and "anti-God" to help communicate the Gospel?

Intentional blind spots

"If you want what you've never had, you will have to do what you've never done."

No doubt we've heard this and other similar mantras.
But do we believe they're true?
Or more to the point: Are we actually going to do anything about it? Or do we believe that quotes and snappy phrases alone change things?

Whether we are leading a multi-million dollar company, a local church, or leaders of our families, its imperative that we learn to consider all possibilities to an opportunity or problem.

In fact, I believe that it is specifically within the things that we are unwilling to discuss that many of our breakthroughs are found.

Seth Godin says it this way: If you're not willing to consider it, you can bet you're going to sabotage the thinking that goes into evaluating the choice.

I believe that it is in our unfiltered brainstorming that we often unearth previously unseen wisdom and breakthroughs. But when we avoid topics or directions simply because they are uncomfortable or uncharted, we severely limit our ability to learn. 

We actually create blind spots for ourselves and then work feverishly to protect our right to 'not see.' We cram our own heads in the sand.

So often things take far longer than necessary to create, solve, or improve because of this unfortunate truth.

So, back to where we started: "If you want what you've never had, you will have to do what you've never done."

What topic do you need to explore? What conversation do you need to have? Who's ideas do you need to listen to one more time?

It's time to work on those blind spots.
It's time to pull our heads out.
Often there is great wisdom hiding in the places we've refused to look.

Criticism can be a sign of something remarkable

"We don't choose to be remarkable because we're worried about criticism. We hesitate to create innovative movies, launch new human resource initiatives, design a menu that makes diners take notice or give an audacious sermon because we're worried, deep down, that someone will hate it and call us on it."

Seth Godin | "Tribes"

Whatever it takes

I am part of the fellowship committed to doing “whatever it takes.”
I have Holy Spirit power.
The die has been cast.
I’ve stepped over the line.
I am out of the comfort zone.
The decision has been made. I’m a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I won’t look back, let up, slow down, or back away.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.
I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chincy giving, and dwarfed goals!

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, or popularity.
I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised regarded or rewarded.
I now live by HIS presence, lean on faith, love by patience, lift by prayer and labor by HIS power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, and my companions may be few.

But my Guide is reliable and my mission is clear.
I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won’t give up, shut up, let up, or burn up 'till I’ve preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I must go until He comes, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He stops.

And when He comes to get His own, He’ll have no problem recognizing me because I have dedicated my life to be a part of the fellowship committed to doing “whatever it takes!”

Author Unknown

Just do something!

I am thoroughly enjoying Kevin DeYoung's book,
"Just Do Something: How to Make a Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, etc." (By the way, this is also one of the greatest book titles of all time)

He makes a great case for the idea that we obsess far too much about things that God cares little about and worry far too little about the things He finds important (acting justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God). 

We seem to really get worked up over things God doesn't mention specifically in the Bible (i.e. where to work, who to marry, where to go to school, how to spend our weekend, what to order at the restaurant) -- and yet things like holiness and seeking His kingdom first gets bumped to the back of the line. 

We treat God's will like it is a buried treasure that He's challenged us to find and dig up. Our prayers revolve around keeping everything and everyone safe and warm and fuzzy and keeping unpleasant thoughts and feelings far from us. Essentially, if something makes us feel stressed or smells like risk in any way, it must not be God's will - so help us avoid it at all costs... and the result is often spiritual paralysis. We consult God for literally everything and don't make a move until we've heard His voice - and all the while the whole idea of personally growing in wisdom goes unused and unexercised...

I am about half done and I love what I've read so far. I can't count how many times I have thought, "Yup. Done that. Yup. That's stupid - why do I do that? Dang. That's gotta change. Ouch. I know a bunch of people who think that..."

Here are a few of my favorite quotes (emphasis mine): 

"Passivity is a plague among Christians. It's not just that we don't do anything; it's that we feel spiritual for not doing anything. We imagine that our inactivity is patience and sensitivity to God's leading. At times it may be, but it's also quite possible we are just lazy. When we hyper-spiritualize our decisions, we can veer off into impulsive and foolish decisions. But more likely as Christians we fall into endless patterns of vacillation, indecision, and regret. No doubt, selfish ambition is a danger for Christians, but so is complacency, listless wandering, and passivity that pawns itself off as spirituality. Perhaps our inactivity is not so much waiting on God as it is an expression of the fear of man, the love of the praise of man, and disbelief in God's providence." 

"So get married, provided you're equally yoked and you actually like being with each other. Go get a job, provided it's not wicked. Go live somewhere in something with somebody or nobody. But put aside the quest for complete fulfillment and the perfectionism and the preoccupation with the future, and for God's sake start making some decisions in your life. Don't wait for the liver-shiver. If you're seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, you will be in God's will, so just go out and do something...
Die to self. Live for Christ. And then do what you want, and go where you want, for God's glory."

Week 1 of the Man Series

This weekend at Destiny Church we began Sex, Money, and Power: The Man Series. If you weren't at there this weekend you missed an action-packed 60 minute service that included the band rockin' some Third Day, Boston and AC/DC and Pastor Mike smashed things like cell phones, melons, cans of soda, and containers of yogurt with a huge hammer (a'la Gallagher circa 1983).

Over the last year we have been inspired by books like "Why Men Hate Going to Church" and the Man Series by Pastor Perry Noble @ Newspring Church (I also wrote about what I have been learning about how churches can better reach men here and here and here). We've realized more and more the power of a man who loves God. When a man becomes a follower of Christ, his family is 3 times more likely to follow suit than if mom gives her heart to God. Throughout the country churches are filled with 3-4 women for every man (or more). So much of how churches communicate and what they do are slanted toward the style of women, so it's no surprise that men have not felt at home in our houses of worship - on the contrary, they prefer to just stay at home. 

Our families, communities, and churches are better off when they're filled with men who love God and love church - and we're going to do everything we can to bring them back "home" by communicating in a way that connects with them the way God made them.

Ladies, the best way we can love you is to love the men in your lives. If we connect them with God, the world - our world - will be a better place. So these messages will bless you by speaking directly to him. 

If you know any guys who don't like church, bring them the next two weekends - I guarantee they will think differently. The messages will be short and to the point and they will be applicable to daily life. The band will be playing great songs like "Free Ride" from Audio A and a medley of Skynyrd and the Eagles as well as some great songs of worship.

I've already spent many posts talking about why we need to reach men and how we can do it better, so I'll just show you some pics from this weekend. It was a lot of fun! 

See you next weekend!